


Missing You

by Augustus



Series: Interludes [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Genre: M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2000-04-26
Updated: 2000-04-26
Packaged: 2018-03-07 07:05:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3165836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Augustus/pseuds/Augustus





	Missing You

I hate watching you leave, master. There is something inside me that tears each time I watch your long strides pulling you ever further away from me. Each time I see you leave me, I can't help but wonder if I will ever see the icy blueness of your eyes again - whether I will ever again look up at that familiar face. I was not born an optimist, master. Each time you leave me, I fear for your safety until you are at my side once more. It is my duty as your padawan to care for you. How am I supposed to protect you when I am not in my rightful place at your side? When I am forced to be still, my feet held only by my strength of will, it is as though a part of me has been caged. There is nothing that can dull the ache of losing you, even for the shortest absence. Without you beside me, I no longer feel complete.

I hate being separated from you. I can count the distance as if it were some childhood lesson. It is a physical space - I feel it within me in a way that is in defiance of laws of the universe. Each step between us is etched onto my heart and into my mind in dark cutting letters, edged in blood. The light that surrounds me when you are by my side dims almost to nothingness. All around me seems grey. The shadows are longer and they seem to reach for me as I move as in a dream. Nothing is as real without you. Nothing has that crystal clarity that it does when your presence is so much more than just a memory. When I am with you my head somehow seems to overrule the whisperings of my heart. But as soon as you are gone I can think only of the time that has been wasted.

It can be no other way, and yet that knowledge never helps to ease the ache. For what good is logic when something inside me is breaking? What good is reason when all that I can see in front of my eyes is you and dreams of us that can never be? I feel as though I have thrown something away, in letting you leave without telling you how I feel, and yet I realise that to do so would be foolish and would ruin what we have as master and apprentice. And there is nothing I want less than that, Master. It is hard enough to exist when you are not within the stretch of my eyesight. If you were no longer within the reach of my mind, I am positive the last shimmers of light would drip from my being. It is only when I feel truly alone that the darkness beckons so enticingly. It is only when I miss you that the dark side feels this close.

**~fin~**


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